Building Self Esteem

What is building self-esteem?

Getting help for building self-esteem might help if you are looking for ways you can become more confident and you want to know some practical strategies to become more confident.

Many people base their self-esteem on external factors, such as how much money they earn, how much they weigh and whether people like and appreciate them. If one of these external variables change, self-esteem can be broadly affected. For example, if your self-esteem is based on the fact that someone else loves you, then you risk feeling extremely vulnerable and worthless if that person’s love ends. By the same token, building self-esteem is not an easy task if you have been abused or have suffered years of personal or professional failure.

How is self-esteem built?

Not everyone is born with an in built sense of self-confidence. Sometimes it can be hard building self-esteem, whether because of personal experiences that has caused you to lose confidence or you are generally suffering from low self-esteem. Building self-esteem can help get you back on track.

There are a couple of handy things you can do encourage building self-esteem. Some of these are just little changes to your frame of mind, and others are things you have to work on for a bit longer to get used to them.

Top 5 tips for building self-esteem


1. Look at what you’ve already achieved
Sometimes it can be easy to focus on what you haven’t done. It’s easy to lose confidence if you feel like you haven’t achieved anything. Focusing on stuff you have done, big or small, can help you gain perspective on all your talents and abilities and is a great way of building self-esteem.

Write down a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life. Keep this list close and add to it when you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull this list out and use it to remind you of all the awesome stuff you’ve done.

2. Think of things you’re good at
Everyone has strengths and talents. This is a great technique for building self-esteem.  Have a look at our fact sheet on strengths and work out how you can build on yours. Recognizing what you’re good at and trying to build on those things can be a really valuable way of building confidence in your own abilities.

3. Set some goals
Set some goals and aim to achieve them as a way of building self-esteem. By proving to yourself that you can get stuff done, you’ll prove to yourself what you’re capable of achieving. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or planning a night out with friends. Just little things that can be ticked off a list and help you gain self-confidence in your ability to get stuff done.

4. Talk yourself up
You’re never going to feel confident if you have a negative commentary running through your mind telling you you’re no good. Think about your self-talk and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. This can help you in building self-esteem.

5. Get a hobby
Finding  something that you’re really passionate about is an excellent way of building self-esteem. Think of some of the stuff you’re really interested in and commit yourself to giving them a go. Finding stuff that you’re passionate about will help you find stuff that you’re good at. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity you’re likely to be good at it as well.

What can I do if I want to continue building self-esteem?

Sometimes the quick fixes don’t help in the long term. If you’re feeling really bad and things just don’t seem to be getting better, it might be worth going to talk to someone who knows how to build you up.

Professionals like counsellors and psychologists have some really good strategies that can help you building self-esteem. Bright Ideas Psychology can help you with building self-esteem, call and make an appointment today.